The Office: An American Workplace.
As office workers ourselves who haven’t lived under a rock for the last 16 years, we at Touchpoint are passionate fans who love The Office so much we’re even willing to get Peacock to watch it!
We embarked on an exercise to compare our own industry to the wonderful workers of The Office and discern which characters would diligently clock in, which would struggle with a new system, and which would be unaware they even had to punch in. Without further ado, here is our official ranking of The Office characters and how they would react to the different time collection strategies your workplace may employ.
- Dwight Schrute - Who else to start with than the unforgettable Dwight K. Schrute. A hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, Dwight simply refuses to get on board with any new Time Collection strategy. He beat the computer once in a sales competition and he’ll track his time more accurately and efficiently than any computer could. To Dwight, paper is the only reliable solution, that’s why he sells it.
- Creed Bratton - A product of the past, Creed Bratton (if that’s his real name) tracks his time on paper. That’s the only way to get around alternatively issuing his paychecks to both Creed Bratton and William Charles Schneider.
- Michael Scott - The lovable, sometimes bumbling boss, Michael is unaware of any new time collection systems. Why track the time when you’re doing something you love. His employees are his best friends and the office is like home, you wouldn’t make someone clock in when they came to your house would you?
- Pam Beesly (Halpert) - You wouldn’t think Pam loves a paper system, and you would be correct! However, Pam is sucked into the whirlwind of Dwight’s time collection and has to manually enter each tedious, by-the-minute, time punch that Dwight has logged.
- Kevin Malone - Remember Kevin’s struggle with Dwight’s copier code? (Season 7!) Kevin struggles equally with punching in his information on the new DIY system. Everyday is like chili day all over again (and not in a good way) as Kevin gets halfway through punching in before the system times out.
- Kelly Kapoor - Kelly LOVES the new system more than she loves Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The lines forming behind Kevin and his struggles give Kelly the chance to chat with each of her coworkers. Kelly will chat with each and every person who enters the office or her middle name isn’t Rajnigandha.
- Ryan Howard - You could say Ryan likes the new system. But really he just wants a chance to pitch his newest solution: the newer, better, extremely DIY WUPHF time collection. A revolutionary, all-in-one time tracking, social, community-based, algorithmic (were those enough buzzwords??) system. He did go to business school you know - Maybe it’s got potential.
- Jim Halpert - Now you might think Jim is the golden boy, but for those in charge his antics cause some problems. Personally, he has no issues with the new system, but without a completely secure system Jim has of course found ways to tinker with the system and Dwight “Fart” Schrute has been clocking in for a week with no end in sight.
- Stanley Hudson - Stanley would give you a million Stanley nickels to never have to think about time collection. He just wants to collect his paycheck and retire to Florida. As we all know, Stanley’s heart can’t handle too much change.
- Meredith Palmer - The buddy-punching queen, Meredith is constantly bugging someone to punch in for her. She’d try to make it in on time but what can she say, last night was a crazy night and she might be a little hungover.
- Angela Martin (Schrute) - Angela is 100% on board with the new time collection system, she just wishes it factored in the time her fellow employees were wasting. From Kevin’s snack breaks to Meredith’s midday snoozes, Angela has made it her personal goal to log these injustices and deduct wasted time from their paychecks.
- Toby Flenderson - Who cares what Toby thinks? We had to include him somewhere though.
- Andy Bernard - Rid-dit-dit-di-doo! The Nard Dog learned in college the best way to impress is by punching in first, and being last to leave. Thankfully, Touchpoint’s system is so easy to use, Andy didn’t even need to remember his “management” training he went to. Anger management training. Has he mentioned he went to Cornell?
- Darryl Philbin - Daryl suggested a new system forever ago and got ignored by Michael. But, bippity boppity, give me the zoppity, Darryl finally got through and his job is way easier now. Especially tracking the time for two different jobs upstairs and in the warehouse.
- Phyllis Vance - Phyllis was opposed to switching systems, until she heard that Vance Refrigeration was using the same system. Oh you don’t know Vance Refrigeration? It’s run by her husband, Bob Vance.
- Oscar Martinez - An innovative system that provides accountability? Perfect. Oscar is tired of covering for Kevin’s screw ups and Angela’s vindictive time changes!
Recognize any of your own coworkers here? Disagree with our list? Contact us and let us know! And as always, if you have any time collection questions Touchpoint is happy to help!